Don’t get it twisted. I don’t run 10 miles every Friday, but on Fridays.. I run. Why? For my sanity. For my clarity. For peace of mind. For calm. I work in Corporate America. Enough said? And, to top it all off I have anxiety. What a combo. Imagine waking up first thing in the morning sick to your stomach, questioning your capability, questioning your worth, and wondering how in the world you got here.

This is me.

On Fridays… I run.

Some Fridays, I don’t feel like it – but let’s be honest, we’ve all been neglecting our fitness a bit. If I stay consistent on Fridays, maybe it will make a small dent. After all, I enjoy metrics. I like the sense of accomplishment after, the endorphins, but most of all it helps set me straight. As in, my mind is a little clearer. I don’t feel quite so alone. I don’t feel like such a loser and it gives me back a tiny shred of confidence.

Do you ever feel like you are definitely good enough, if it wasn’t for YOU holding YOU back? I sometimes imagine what it might be like, a woman in Corporate America, achieving success, but also enjoying it. Loving the spotlight, feeding off the energy. The center of attention. Holding my audience. Speaking clearly; impressive. And what if I didn’t question my abilities, knowledge, presentation skills, appearance and just marinated in a calm quiet confidence. What would that feel like?

Sometimes when I run, I create. I spent a few Friday runs thinking up a new team for work. I came up with several themes – New Frontiers, New Galaxies, etc. It wasn’t until about the 3rd Friday run that it hit me. I generated a new team name using acronyms from the work the team is intended to do. I can’t get into details, as I don’t want to be ‘found out’. Does anyone still LOL?

So, on Fridays… I run. I plan to keep running on Fridays until my body tells me otherwise. I run to help process the negative thoughts, the self-doubt, the imposter syndrome. I run to understand myself a little better. I run to reset my brain, and I run to help cope with a complicated, stressful, and job that I can’t fully figure out. More on that later.